Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
