how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
