If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
