the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
