i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
