Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
