Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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