i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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