I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
