My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
