YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
