girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
