I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
