dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We left the knife in your bed.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
