True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Someone shit on the floor
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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