no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
