We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How external is "for external use only"?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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