dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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