she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I showed him my bush... on skype.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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