It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
