You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
