how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
