Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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