What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
