Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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