I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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