I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I had to cum in my sink.
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