Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
