but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
