If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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