the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
