butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
