apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
His nipple licking is glorious
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