I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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