it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
