We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
