So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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