Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
