I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do vagina's smell?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
