i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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