I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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