I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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