the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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