She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
