Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
