The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
