who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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