Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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