they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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