smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
