Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
