Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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